You can learn a lot about a person by the way she or he chooses to die. RivkA Matitya, spelled with a big A to emphasize the strong sound and the strong personality, has chosen the most inspiring and profound way to leave this world. She is doing it by doing what she does so beautifully: reaching out to people, teaching and helping others deal with life’s adversity. RivkA has spent the past week, a time when her body is breaking down piece by piece, embracing everyone who she has crossed paths with in this life. I am so deeply moved by her love of humanity. I feel her spirit has touched mine, and I know I'm not alone.

RivkA, formerly Karin Zuckerman, was diagnosed with cancer in 2005. She tells audiences that it never occurred to her that this is something that she would die from. “My mother had cancer, my grandmother had cancer, they did it, they got over it, and went on with their lives.” But two years later she discovered that the cancer had metastasized to her bones, liver and lungs. In July 2009, they discovered metastases in her brain. The way she explains it, “Diagnosis: Cancer is a 'chronic illness'. You can live with it. Translation: I hope to be on chemotherapy for a LONG time!” RivkA, sadly, is not on chemo anymore, and that has left a lot of us with an ache in our hearts.

After her diagnosis, RivkA started a blog called “Coffee and chemo," a title that characterizes her entire approach to her illness. Life is fun when you’re with friends, and there is no other way to live. She invited people to be with her all the time, to share time and life’s experiences, whatever they happen to be. She says she started the blog in order to report on the illness, but in fact it became a place to share wisdom and insights about life, parenting and overall coping with adversity. She also became an inspirational speaker, known for her spirituality, vivaciousness and courage (you can watch one of her talks here).

For RivkA, the illness has not been an event that held her back, but rather it became a catalyst for her to grow. She talks about how embracing the community of cancer survivors is, about how she learned to let go of things and come to terms with life as it is. She teaches young women how to care for themselves and speak openly about health and body and life in general.

More than that, through this experience RivkA has touched so many people and enabled other people to grow with her. Even the way she approached this past week was embracing and loving. She sent out a message through the Barnard Alumni network in Israel that she runs, and through Facebook and through all kinds of other channels and forums, every way she could reach people, one message: Come be with me. She was going into the hospital for the final stage of her journey in this life, and all she wanted to do was to be surrounded by lots of loving people. Even at this trying moment, she is teaching and embracing. 

I'm awed by RivkA's honesty and insight. After all, isn’t that what everyone wants? Don’t we all want to just be surrounded and embraced by lots of love? I am touched by RivkA's ability to articulate that profound message even at this moment. Some people might have withdrawn into pain management and privacy. But for RivkA, this was just one more opportunity to remind everyone that all of life is just about friendship and love.

Here are a few things that people have written about RivkA this week:

Blogger Treppenwitz wrote:

Anyone who has been following along with my friend RivkA's blog knows that she has had her ups and downs in her battle with cancer, but that she has remained an incredibly vibrant, positive person no matter what was being thrown at her.The only tiny glimmer of vulnerability any of us were allowed to see, was the polite request with which she closed each of her blog posts:

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.
With love and optimism, RivkA

That's it. Simple, 'tznuah'... unassuming. Typical RivkA. The way most of us might ask for a tissue or a stick of gum, RivkA was gently saying, "I'm in a fight for my life... and I believe with all my heart in the power of prayer and positive thinking. So won't you please share a little of yours with me?'.

Robin at Around the Island wrote:

In addition to being a dear friend, RivkA is also one of the most passionate, brave, articulate, loyal and downright funny people I know. She is the kind of mother I hope to grow to be, and the kind of friend. Throughout her ongoing battle with metastatic cancer she has continued to let that inner light shine brightly, illuminating and inspiring all those she touches.

Rivka, if you can hear me, I’m sending you back all the love and goodness and compassion that you have sent to thousands of people. All those wonderful energies are coming back to you during this transition. Thank you for honoring us with your joy and your spirit, and I hope that I will be blessed with more of that spirit as our paths cross in the next life.